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Alex Ferguson Retires JokesAfter 26 years in charge, Sir Alex Ferguson has retired as manager of Manchester United. The 71-year-old Scot has been rumoured to step down for a while but Man Utd have now confirmed that he will leave at the end of the season. Here are some jokes that might help to cheer up any United fans out there. Or, if you’re not a Fergie fan this will definitely help to rub salt in the wounds of your Manu friends and colleagues.

Wanted. Old drunk who can not tell the time. A knowledge of football would be an advantage. Apply Old Trafford.

Alex Ferguson has announced that after retiring from Manchester United, he plans to keep busy. He has accepted an invitation to become the mascot for the BBC’s Red Nose Day.

After a great few years with United he has decided to retire from football. MUFC just released this statement: “He is the best we’ve had, really well organised, consistent every year and a great character around the dressing room. Thank You Howard Webb. We wish you all the best in your new career as a Referee.”

First Thatcher dies, then Ferguson retires. Somewhere, there is a Scouser with a lamp and one wish left.

Now that Ferguson is retiring, I wonder what Howard Webb will spend his redundancy money on? Holiday home, pay off his mortgage or maybe a Rooney stile hair transplant.

In honour of Sir Alexs’ time in the league, a minutes round of applause will take place in the 7th minute of injury time.

When asked what he’s going to do in his retirement Sir Alex Ferguson replied: “Well, I’m going to take a long holiday with that special person who has stood by me all these years, Howard Webb.”

Manchester United have released a statement saying that following his retirement, Alex Ferguson will be taking charge upstairs. God isn’t too happy.

Alex Ferguson actually retired 6 years ago, which is today after all the injury time.

Man United have confirmed that they will be retiring the Old Trafford “Extra-Time Board” at the end of the season in honour of Fergie’s retirement.

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