I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.
She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear,
but as soon as she got through the front door she stiffened up and her attitude changed completely.
“What the fuck is that pathetic little thing?” she demanded. “How the hell do you think that you’re going to satisfy me with that?”
“I’m sorry, Adele,” I replied, “it’s the biggest fridge I could afford.”
Adele: you know you’re fat when no one has even mentioned you’re ginger.
Adele says she’s been hurt by fat jokes about her and is going through a lot of pain.
Yeah, probably Pain au Chocolat.
My laptop is fucked. It just keeps playing “Chasing Pavements” over and over again.
Probably because it’s a Dell.
Adele’s arse cheek brushed against my face earlier while she played a concert in London.
Which was strange because I was in Wigan at the time.
I tried watching Adele’s latest video on YouTube, but it was constantly buffeting.
Adele: The Brit School saved me from teen pregnancy
No, I’m pretty sure being fat and ginger saved you from teen pregnancy.
If I have 5 pies in one hand and and six pies in the other hand what have I got?
Two more trips to Adele’s table in my restaurant to complete her order.
BC NEWS: U.S man beats record with 25,000th big mac
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS: Adele finds true love with mystery American
Courtesy of Sickipedia.org
