As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked, “And what would you like for Christmas?”
The child stared at Santa open mouthed and horrified for a second, then gasped; ‘Didn’t you get my email?’
What do ducks do before Christmas dinner?
Pull their Christmas quackers!
Why did the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks!
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“In honour of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle,” he said. “You may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.” Saint Peter said, “You may pass through the pearly gates.”
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s glasses.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “They’re Carol’s.”
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!
Marks and Spencers new advert claims that it wouldn’t be Christmas without M&S. Well their right, it would be Chrita
Imagine my joy, when I looked under the bed and found a Christmas present from last year all wrapped up and ready to go.
My kids we’re so happy when they saw the box and unwrapped it on Christmas morning. Such a shame it was the puppy I’d bought them.
