So Boris Johnson isn’t quite content with being the Mayor of London and wants to become a member of parliament next year. Can you just imagine Boris Johnson shouting at the Taliban and calling them “oiks” or telling Israel off by clipping their ear and calling them “hooligans”. It would be hilarious. He’s a man of many talents, but being sensible isn’t one of them! Then again, anyone’s a damn sight better than David Cameron right now.
Here are some of our favourite Boris Johnson jokes from our lovely, sick readers…
It can only be a matter of time before Boris Johnson’s mum comes forward and tells us that she was raped by Jimmy Savile in 1963. Henry, Bondi Beach. 
After buying three water cannons for the Metropolitan police, London mayor Boris Johnson has agreed to be blasted by them, to prove the ‘safety and wisdom’ of the purchase…

Now if only David Cameron would do the same with the Trident missile system. Denice, Bronte
Boris Johnson.
Putting the ROFL into Mayor of London. Jannes, Richmond

I see London Mayor Boris Johnson’s proposing to fine Londoners who text while they’re walking.
Personally I think it would be cheaper and funnier to just put up more lamp posts. Bert, Greenwich
New Zealand has parade of topless porn stars on motorcycles called “Boobs on Bikes” due to pass through Wellington. Meanwhile, here in England, we go one better with “Cunts on Bikes”, as David Cameron and Boris Johnson cycle to work. Jeff, Bermondsey
Mayor of London Boris Johnson is to make a cameo appearance on EastEnders.
So yet another thick bumbling blonde with big tits, to add to the cast list… Harry, Paddington

I hired a clown for my daughter’s eighth birthday party.
Fuck me, that Boris Johnson doesn’t come cheap, does he? Jack, Willesden
Having Boris Johnson’s initials must suck. James, London Bridge

Boris Johnson has hit back at critics of the London Underground.
“A lot of people slag off Transport For London but I’m here to defend them. We have, without doubt, the finest rail replacement bus network in the whole of Europe.” Jon, Hammersmith
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