We’ve put together our favourite jokes from July. Enjoy!
What’s black got three holes and always has a cock in it?
An EDL balaclava. Jake, Elizabeth
Anna, 6 years old, gets home from school. She just had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, ” How did it go?”
“I died of shame!” She answers.
“Why?” her Mother asked.
Anna said, “Karen from down the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Peter in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.”
Her mother replies laughing, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed!”
“No, but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!” Dan, Surry Hills
In an attempt to improve safety on our roads, police have been given powers to fine people for A. Middle lane hogging, and B. Tailgating.
I think it’s great. Now they just need powers to fine people if they don’t ?A. Hurry the fuck up, and?B. Get the fuck out of the way. James, Canberra
Why are women like clouds? Eventually they piss off and it becomes a really nice day! Paul, Toowoomba
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. ?We discovered that, when I’m in a good mood, it turns green and, when I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big frigging red mark on her forehead. Sean, Townsville
Zebo, a half blind five year old South African orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of 2 dollars and we’ll send you the video, it’s bloody hilarious…Frank, Darwin
News agencies report that Syrians are flooding into Jordan.
I thought she was still working her way through the population of Essex. Greg, Newcastle
Tulisa took the ‘Share Coke With Friends’ campaign a little too seriously…Rob, Sydney
A dick has a sad life. His hair’s a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor’s an asshole, his best friend’s a pussy, and his owner beats him. Victor, Rockhampton
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?”
His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No”, said Little Johnny.
His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.”
The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?”
His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?”
“No” said Little Johhny.
“Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied.
The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?”
Little Johnny replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?”
His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!”
And Little Johnny replied, “Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!” Harry, Darlinghurst
Also visit – https://britishballs.com/funny-and-old-sport-news/Â
