While you’re getting ready to treat yourself with a mountain of chocolate, here’s a few jokes for you to have a chuckle to as you tuck into numerous chocolate eggs this Easter.
“Why is Easter an Alzheimer patient’s favourite holiday?
They get to hide their own eggs.” Joanna, Sydney
“I don’t want to know!” little Johnny said, bursting into tears.
“Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong.”
“Nothing says ‘Enjoy your chocolate Easter eggs children’ like a bleeding, half-naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood.” Josh, Perth
“I’ve been wanking all over easter and have concluded I must be Jesus.
As it took 3 days for my 2nd coming.” Michael, Adelaide
“God, it makes me laugh to think about all the lies my parents told me when I was a kid. Like how Santa Claus left presents for me under the tree for being a good boy all year, and how the Easter Bunny hid chocolate eggs around the house for praying hard to Jesus, and how the Sodomy Fairy bought me a bike for not saying anything to my mum…” Sarah, Melbourne
“The Pope seems to have resigned just in time to avoid Easter.
Does this mean you don’t like eggs Benedict?” Michelle, Brisbane
“If it wasn’t for Christmas and Easter eggs, Christianity would be long gone by now.” Hayley, Perth
“Jesus never received any birthday presents until Easter.
That’s when he got a little cross.” James, Sydney
“With Easter just around the corner, my wife demanded some hot cross buns
So I spanked her on the arse with a crucifix.” Jason, Gold Coast
“What does Mr. Cadbury give his children for Easter?
A finger.” Katy, Melbourne
“My mate asked, “What are you doing for Easter?”
“Following the example of Jesus”, I said.
He looked puzzled. “You’re going to church then?”
“No”, I huffed. “I’m getting hammered and nailed.” Steven, Perth
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