Ok these jokes are pretty wrong, but what can we say, we’re depraved creatures. So sit back and enjoy September’s sick jokes.
I got in touch with my inner self today. That’s the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll. Joe, Fitzroy
I got in touch with my inner self today.
That’s the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll. Joe, Fitzroy
I called my wife’s vagina ‘the pink bank’ – cos it’s were i leave a deposit…mind you it’s not a very good bank cos it’s often in the red. Tim, Bondi
Isn’t it ironic…Thalidomide’s have been trying to reach out for an answer to the drug scandal for years with just those teeny, tiny little arms. No wonder it took so long, bless ’em. Bill, Darlinghurst
I saw a mother breast feeding her baby on the bus and thought,”Jesus those are nice tits.” Fuck knows why her baby was topless. George, Surry Hills
I was getting a hand-job off my new girlfriend when I asked, “How are you so good at this?”
“Years of practice,” she said.
“Bit of a player in your day?” I laughed.
“No,” she replied, “my dad had no arms.” James, Fremantle
My son’s school teacher rang me today.
He said, “Young David doesn’t seem to be concentrating in class, is something bothering him at home?”
“Well his pet dog died last week,” I replied. “That’s all I can think of.”
“Oh right, how did it die?” he asked.
“It got ran over by a train,” I replied. “His mother was walking it at the time.” Chris, Paddington
Two interesting facts about me.
1) My knob is the same length as 2 Argos pens.
2) I’m banned from Argos. Brian, Richmond
I like to shave my testicles…I call them Brazil Nuts. Phil, St Kilda
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