Wi-Fi: The Silent Sperm KillerA new report conducted by American and Argentinian scientists suggests that men that use laptops with Wi-Fi are slowly frying their little soldiers….

The researchers took some jizz from some fit and healthy blokes and placed one sample underneath a laptop connected to the net through Wi-Fi and placed the other away from it.

After four hours they found that 25 per cent of the spunk under the laptop had ceased to swim and 9 per cent had DNA damage.

Worryingly, only 14 per cent of the pot kept away from the Wi-Fi copped it, while just 3 per cent suffered DNA damage.

The study disproves the theory that it was just the heat generated by laptops that was killing the hopes and dreams of grandparents and desperate thirty-something women everywhere, and advises that guys who use laptops on their laps are most at risk.

The men in white coats have stressed that men shouldn’t worry just yet as further research is needed, but it serves as a caution to obsessive male surfers. Funny that pornhub could actually be damaging male potency, huh?

On the other hand, if you happen to be married to or in a relationship with sperm-stealer Liz Jones its great news – strap a laptop to your crotch wherever you go!

By Rebecca Jones

Twitter: @RebeccaEJones