LIKE most people, BBM is scared of many things. You know, like dying. Or being trapped and therefore unable to order a pizza. The usual.
It seems Jean Wilson’s nightmare came true recently when she fell in her apartment and (presumably was so fat that she) was unable to reach the phone to call Dominos, we mean the ambulance.
Luckily, her pizza-a-day habit alerted Dominos delivery driver Susan Guy who, after hearing the fat slob hadn’t ordered a pizza in three days, became alarmed. She rushed over and had police break down the door. They found Jean on the floor under a stack of pizza boxes and reeking of cheesy garlic bread.
Police say her pizza habit may have saved her life. Hmm. BBM might have suggested investing in some friends or family who may notice you’ve been missing for three days. Or going for a brisk walk in the park. Or using the pick-up coupons every so often.
Delivery hero Susan was said to be distressed after finding Jean (pictured) who barked, “There was pineapple on my supreme again, bitch,” as she licked crumbs off the floor.