Takeover Earth..In a story leftover from our “End of the World” issue last week, the brains at the UN have appointed a Malaysian woman to act as Earth’s first contact for any aliens that may come visiting.

For your records, dear reader, Mazlan Othman, the head of the UN Office for Outer Space Affairs, is the lady to call if your inner-alien would like to contact an official human.

She could’ve help solve world hunger of the Arab-Israeli conflict but that’s alright, let her sit beside a phone waiting for aliens to call.

Nerds around the world believe that humanity’s first encounter with any intelligent aliens is more likely to be via radio or light signals (like ‘stars’ for example?) from a distant planet rather than beings arriving on Earth.

In addition, even if we do encounter aliens in the flesh, they are apparently more likely to be microbes than anything intelligent.

If not being intelligent is the criteria for alien life, BBM suggests the immediate capture and testing of Katie Price. We always knew a human would never find Peter Andre husband material.