SNOOKER LOOPY LAGS ARE WE

IT’S a well-known fact that one of the main causal links between childhood and a life of crime, is the lack of access to professionally-designed snooker tables.
If only a young Fred West had been given access to a perfectly maintained green baize, countless lives could have been saved.
Thankfully, the farsighted bosses of Rye Hill prison near Rugby, Warwickshire, have seen sense and installed no less than eight full-sized snooker tables (at £35,000 each) for potty inmates to play with. Contractors even “balanced” the green baize tables professionally to ensure convicts’ games are fair.
A G4S spokesman said the jail used games such as snooker to “encourage good behaviour and interaction”.
Call us stupid, but we reckon giving inmates access to snooker balls and pool cues is probably a bad idea. We’ve seen Ray Winstone in Scum. Who’s the faaaackin’ daddy!