IF BBM ever has a kid (ha! Perish the thought), we’re going to raise it in Texas and call it Precious just to make sure it gets the best start in life.


We know it works. There’s proof in the US newspapers every day. Like these young achievers for example.


18-year-old Dixie Chivers, 19-year-old Miracle Mathis and 19-year-old Alashia Carter, attempted to steal hair extensions from Jolla Bella Beauty at 1771 Texas Parkway.


After realising their robbery was going nowhere, they threatened an employee with a pair of scissors. Police have said they are unsure as to what the threats involved specifically, but they are investigating claims that the word “mullet” was used as a warning.


Sane American mothers have suggested that censorship laws should be tightened as a result of such a barbaric act.


They claim that Miracle and Dixie must have been influenced by TV and movies as they were too young to remember anything before daddy went to jail. As a result, Edward Scissorhands will no longer be screened.


In the rest of the world we are getting on with things in an orderly manner.