Rooney caught off-side

[Insert footballer’s name], cheated on his wife with a prostitute…ok we won’t be that lazy. Wayne Rooney has been exposed for cheating on his wife and childhood sweetheart, Coleen whilst she was pregnant with their son Kai. Apparently the Shrek look-a-like paid Jennifer Thompson, 21, £1000 a session over the course of 4 months. Of course we’re really hoping Coleen will issue him a red card, as it’s not the first time he’s been caught with a prostitute if we look back to that unfortunate incident in 2004. Oh and he’ll probably loose millions in endorsements that pride themselves on using a good old family man, boys, please in future refer to the Gospel of Tiger Woods, which clearly points out all the bad things that will happen if you’re in the public eye and you cheat on your wife.