Just to underline how utterly inept England rugby is at pretty much level, a review by the RFU into why we were so incredibly shit at the World Cup has been accidentally leaked to the The Times. In other words, they’ve even managed to cock-up admitting that they’ve cocked up.
The report, which features anonymous interviews with England’s bunch of beer guzzling, slapper kissing, dwarf tossing players, makes Macbeth seem like a cheery rom-com by comparison.
Players lay into each other, talk about the money they missed out on and generally curl out a large stinking turd at the doorstep of Martin Johnson.
“I suppose we just wanted Johnno to have the (courage) to take action, especially after the Tindall night. He was too loyal and that was his downfall,” one player was quoted as saying in the leaked report.
After a drunken night out in Queenstown, stalwart Mike Tindall was belatedly fined £25,000 for putting his cock in a blonde midget or something and coach Martin Johnson was criticised in the reports for failing to discipline players involved.
“We had meetings where ‘values’ were discussed but they felt like empty words,” one player said in the report, while another added: “If it’s the senior players leading drinking games or drinking until they can’t remember anything, what example are the younger players set?”
The review pretty much condemned everyone involved in the campaign, except for one man: Graham Rowntree. When he’s not the drummer in Blur, Graham is England’s scrum coach and was praised by players and staff alike. Three cheers for Graham! Rule Britannia! Britannia rules the waves!