A mashed-up factory worker is lucky to be alive after being pushed through a five-inch gap during an accident at work. BBM knows for a fact that Alex Reid and Peter Andre have gone through similar experiences – although Jordan’s gash is believed to be around seven inches wide these days.

Matt Lowe had his back broken in two places, his pelvis shattered, both hips and several ribs fractured and his stomach and bowel ruptured after being pushed through a hole the size of a CD case. At least he didn’t pick up crabs like Alex and Peter.

“I still don’t know how I didn’t die,” said the Barnsley contortionist. “As the machine dragged me through I just relaxed because I knew I couldn’t do anything and I thought that was the end for me.”

In all, he spent a month in hospital and had to have six operations to pin his broken limbs back together again. On the plus side, he can now get in and out of his house through the letterbox.