GordonBrown2004LAST week, Britain went to the polls to see which political party they would most like to complain about over the next five years.
At the time of going to print, the result looked like it would be a ‘well-hung parliament’ – a situation where no single party wins a majority of seats. To settle it, the Queen coats the bottom of a china egg cup with sawdust and requests party leaders Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg to dip their tiny todgers inside – whoever’s todger is covered in the most sawdust is the most ‘well-hung’ and therefore gets to be PM.
But last week, Labour appeared to throw in the towel before a vote was cast, when Harriet Harman attacked The Sun’s classy Page 3, vowing she and other female MPs would “gang up” against the paper.
In response, The Super Soar-Away Sun featured a group photo with all it’s Page 3 girls in Tory-blue underwear. Page 3 stunna Peta Todd, definitely not reading from a prepared statement, said: “Knife and gun crime at alarming levels, troops being killed in Afghanistan and highest youth unemployment for a generation.
“But all Labour and the Libs are thinking about is putting me and my pals out of a job.”