For Fox SakeEver since we saw the Wiley video for ‘Wearing my Rolex’ we’ve had a penchant for shagging women who dress up as foxes. For added eroticism we like to do it while scavenging through bins for scraps of food. Sadly, despite numerous requests, we’ve never met a woman who’s agreed to do this and, after several incidents involving the police, we’ve been banned from owning stuffed woodland animals and going within 10 feet of the large skips behind McDonalds.

But now it seems some like-minded individuals have offered a half decent alternative for those of us with a fetish for fox costumes. Targeting snobs and poshos who have been banned from fox hunting, a paintballing company has launched a package, which involves competitors chasing after a ‘human fox.’

Groups of up to 10 people armed with paintball equipment have the chance to track down and chase the ‘human fox’ through dense woodlands.

A spokesman for said he believes the experience is one that could be enjoyed equally by both pro and anti-hunt brigades.

He said: “Whether you agree with fox hunting or not there’s no doubt that when the hunting ban was brought in many people lost a hobby they loved.
“Now we’ve decided to recreate the experience as realistically as possible, with one main difference – we’re using a human fox, and no animal loses its life.
“Participants will be able to hunt the “fox” – who will be dressed in a full-size outfit – and will be encouraged to take shots once within range.”

Despite extensive research, it is still unclear whether you’re allowed to shoot the human fox then take it round the back of a nearby fast-food outlet for a damn good seeing to.