REMEMBER Festivus from Seinfeld? The best holiday ever, celebrated with an aluminum pole and the airing of grievances.
Well after ten years of celebrating by giving donations to the (fake) Human Fund as gifts every December, BBM is comforted that if we ever go to jail we’ll recieve our Festivus food.
Convicted drug dealer Malcolm Alarmo King asked for kosher meals at a Californian jail to maintain his healthy physique. A reasonable request if you ask us, since part of the prison experience is being fit enough to duck and dart past the knives thrown at you in the playground.
The prison reserves kosher meals for inmates with a religious need, and his defense attorney cited his client’s devotion to Festivus.
King got salami-free meals for two months, a true Festivus miracle!