IT’S a rite of passage for any rookie cop to go from a fit-as-a-fiddle do-gooder, to slovenly fat bastard incapable of outwitting or outrunning even the stupidest of one-legged thieves. But sadly the day of the doughnut-munching policeman could be numbered after the police department introduced new fitness requirements.
All police officers from now on will be required to pass a twice-yearly fitness test, part of their Operation Skills and Tactics courses, for the remainder of their careers in order remain on the beat.

“It’s important to remember that our community expects their emergency service personnel to have adequate fitness levels to allow them to perform their duties effectively,” said Inspector Dan Trimble of the People Department.

The new tests will include the Illinois agility run, a “beep test” to level 6.10, five push-ups, prone bridge, clearing an obstacle and a 100-metre swim.

“I think it is fair for someone who has their handbag snatched to expect that police will be fit enough to give chase,” he said.

“They may not be able to catch them but at least they can chase.

“We need them to swim to a basic level so if they fall in a river they can get out and they can rescue a child that has fallen into a pool.”