josh-dubovie-pic-pa-479520397Britain has finally booked itself an appointment with Specsavers this week after once and for all admitting it has lost its Euro-Vision.
Yes, it was that time of year again when lesser known European countries squeal with delight at the idea of demoting our Great Nation to the bottom ranks through the medium of song.
This year’s scapegoat was 19-year old Essex boy, Josh Dubovie, who flew to Norway with aspirations of uniting our divided brothers and sisters during the annual contest. Sadly, his dreams lasted as long as Gina G’s career and he came last with a dismal 10 points.
Displaying the finest stiff upper lip since Gordon Brown retired as Prime Minister, loser Dubovie cried, “I’ve had the best night and best week of my life. It’s been a privilege.”
Other celebrity critics were not so positive. The typically upbeat Philip Schofield said, “We should have entered SuBo.”
Now hang on, Philip. No matter how bad the situation, entering Susan Boyle is never the solution.