Edward ElgarIf the Government really wants to “stimulate” the economy, why don’t they put pictures of birds with their tits out on the back of 20 pound notes?

It’d help our economic growth we can tell you – phwoar!

Well you may think BBM is being a dirty old man but our pervy plan moved a step closer this week with the news that the image of composer Edward Elgar has finally been removed from the back of 20-pound notes. Alas, they haven’t plumped for BBM’s busty economy-booming idea. They’re putting a boring economist called Adam Smith on the back instead.

“Dropping Elgar tells us much about the way in which the arts are now viewed in England,” said said Jeremy Dibble, a music professor at Durham University. “Bank notes should applaud the greatest aspects of England and English culture.”