SOME excuses just never get old. Like the classic “I was just holding that cigarette for a friend,” or “No I wasn’t wanking, I was trying to flick a spider of my cock.”

Works every time. BBM’s mother is still none the wiser.

Not sure this tactic had the same effect on U.S. authorities recently when they caught Calvin lee Devol driving a stolen car and carrying a stolen rifle.

It started out well when he claimed he got the rifle off a guy named “Bo” and the car off a “Blue Eyed Cuban.” Police were satisfied – who wouldn’t be?

But what about the dead alligator in the back with a bullet hole in its head?

“I didn’t kill the alligator,” he tried, “It was given to me by a co-worker.”

Devol has been charged with grand theft auto, altering a vehicle identification number, and killing an alligator without a license as well as the more serious charge of looking like a douchebag.

The twat has been arrested eight times between 2004 and 2011 on charges including probation violations, carrying a concealed firearm and aggravated battery on a pregnant person whom we presume to have been Bo’s wife.

The 29-year-old is now sitting in his cell waiting for the “Blue-Eyed Cuban” to come and pay his $9000 bail.