Daily Pooer Comes Under FireGreenwich Council have got a tough old mission on their hands as they set about finding out who the culprit is who is pooing, urinating and vomiting in a lift of a council estate in Eltham on a daily basis.

Greenwich Council has blamed the mess on a dog, but at a meeting last week, calls were made for forensic tests on the poo, which residents are confident will prove it is the stuff of men.

Resident, Terry Liddle, 63, who is serious about getting this shit sorted out said, “If it’s a dog it must have incredibly large bowels and a very large bladder.” Continuing, “People go out for an evening, get bladdered and, when they get in the lift, deliberately or otherwise, lose control of their bodily functions and let fly.”

What we would think they should also be concerned about is just what the hell is wrong with this person if they’re vomiting, shitting and pissing all at the same time on a daily basis.

Talk about living in a shit hole.

The quest continues…

By Fanny Frangipane

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