A sad bastard schoolboy with more time on his hands than friends has built a real-life version of the annoyingly popular Angry Birds app.
Using a compressed air cannon, 12-year-old farmboy Sam Beards flings the pumpkin-sculpted birds up to a half-a-kilometre at 500mph towards some handcrafted pigs. A triumph of ingenuity? Or a future case of self-harming? We’ll let you decide. “It’s great fun, and beats the internet version by a mile,” said Beards. “Depending on the size of the pumpkin, we can get them to fly 500 metres.”
Sadly, the invention is expected to add at least 10 years to the age Sam is expected to lose his virginity. Still, he lives on a farm so there’s plenty of other animals for him to take his ‘frustration’ out of. And by frustration we mean cock.