Well that was 90 minutes we will never get back! We swear that the FA collude with UEFA to have these boring, drab international breaks so that we are all on our hands and knees begging for the Premier League to return! “Come back club football – we love you. We didn’t mean it. That international stuff means nothing to us. You are the one”…ahem anyway, yes England versus Wales.
So the build up to the game was dominated about who Fabio Capello would or wouldn’t include in his team. Talk of Frank Lampard’s demise from England duty was premature as he was restored to the starting line up (only Ashley “You’re my world Cheryl” Cole and Wayne “Advance Hair Studio” Rooney have played more games under Capello, for you stats fans) and rumours that an out of shape Andy Carroll (we wish we were that fat!) was seen on the Jubilee underground line with a Gregg’s sausage roll and can of Stella were unfounded.
So to the football. Oh yes the football! Erm, we think there was a game but we are not too sure. With the least shots on goal out of all 197 European qualifiers this campaign, the game hinged on the tale of two chances.
Ashley Young, basking in his move to Manchester United and capitalising on some good work by Stewart Downing down the right flank (see Stewie – the right foot isn’t just for standing on!) finished with all of the composure of a man enjoying his football now that he has been separated from the “joy vacuum” that was his old partner in crime Gabriel Agbonlahor (whose chip on the shoulder is probably now a baked potato)
Then there was Robert Earnshaw. The Welsh substitute was given a golden chance to cap Wales’ period of dominance in the second half with an equaliser but somehow managed to balloon his effort over Joe Hart’s goal when it seemed impossible to do so. ITV’s co-commentator, Andy Townsend suggested that he should have “stick it in with his studs.” Which begs the bigger question – how he actually manages to carve out a career talking about football still?!
With a 1-0 defeat on the night, the Welsh group of youngsters can take heart that they will be given a couple more years before their promise goes unrealised and tournament football evades their grasp yet again. As for England, only a point is needed in Montenegro next month to secure the chance to experience quarter final defeat to Germany on penalties next summer.
By Conan Jal
Twitter.com/conanjal
