If you’re anything like BBM, you’re currently shitting yourself at the prospect of being sued by the makers of Dallas Buyers Club. Damn you McConnaughey! Damn you to hell!
Of course, there’s only one witness tying BBM to the alleged crime of illegally downloading the Hollywood flick: our trusty old laptop.
And should we ever need to “dispose” of our old friend, we know a professional who’s an expert in this sort of Mafia-style hit.
His name is Lucas Hinch, he lives in Colorado, and he’s just been collared by the feds after experiencing major computer rage, taking it into a back alley, then shooting it eight times with a gun before chucking the body in a dumpster. As a result, Linch was slapped with a ticket by police for discharging a weapon within city limits.
Colorado Springs police Lt. Jeff Strossner, who issued the citation, said Hinch told him he had been fighting his computer for months before he decided to exact his revenge. We can almost smell the fear coming from our laptop as we write this. It better pray we don’t get a letter from Voltage Pictures.

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