IN Pheonix this week a 47-year-old teacher, Mr Trego, and another male were arrested after being caught using the internet to organise sex with dogs.

Presumably they contacted the owners, not the dogs themselves. Poor Lassie.

The pair didn’t know each other but had arranged to meet at a hotel with a dog and its owner. Luckily for Fido they were arrested before anything untoward happened.

Both men have been ordered to wear an electronic monitor and can’t have contact with animals.

“That monitor looks great on you,” said the sick teacher, “reminds me of a flea collar.”

Trejo has been put on administrative leave at the West Phoenix grade school where he teaches music. His favourite songs are Who Let The Dogs Out, How Much Is That Dog In The Window and he reportedly worships Lil’ Bow Wow. Oh, and he hates the musical Cats.

Alright, we’re done.