HOW Shane Warne bagged Liz Hurley is still a mystery.

 

First they get together in the most unlikely of circumstances.  Warnie high-fives his mates, figures he got lucky on that one. So did we.

 

Then he cheats on her with either a soccer mum or a porn star- mixed reports there.

 

She forgives him.

 

They then rendezvous in Australia. And then in the UK. Now she’s been and gone after they locked themselves in his Melbourne mansion for a week. And we still know nothing. And if it wasn’t for Twitter we’d know even less.

 

As it stands she mostly tweets about her pet parrot “ping pong” anyway. And no, it’s not a euphemism.

 

We just keep on waiting for that sex tape. With Warney, not the parrot. Or both, we’re not fussy.

 

Be patient.