not-into-bratwurst-no-Stories like these never cease to amaze us. When a German father, (rather fittingly named) Helmut Seifert found out that his 17-year-old daughter was having a relationship with a 57-year-old man, he called the police, however, upon finding out that the police were powerless to help end the relationship, he thought it a good idea to go round his house wielding a bread knife and chop his knackers off, so he could no longer roger his little girl. Commenting to the police about his butchering skills, Helmut said, “I received a phone call anonymously that my daughter was involved with a guy 40 years older than her. You said you couldn’t stop him, so I did. I saw it as my duty as a father.” Oh yeah and after he chopped off his testicles he took off into the night with them in hand, most likely yelling “That’ll learn ya, you filthy old bugger!” Or so we imagine.