TENACIOUS Tiger or toffy twat? We always knew which side of the debate we were on when it came to Tim Henman, but his supporters always said how amazing it was that he had won 11 tour titles and reached world no 4 – well Andy Murray has matched both achievements by 21, an age when Timmy’s mum was still making him flasks of Robinson’s Barley Water.
world_sport_andy-murrayMurray vowed to win his first Grand Slam after crushing Novak Djokovic 6-2, 7-5 to win the Masters Series crown in Miami.
Murray matched Henman’s 14-year career total at an age when Henman had no titles.
The Scot is closing in on Djokovic in the world rankings and could become Britain’s first-ever world No 3 at next week’s Monte Carlo tournament.
Murray said: “I’m training very hard to try and win a Grand Slam but there are so many great players just now.”
Sadly his dull-as-dishwater quotes are no better than Tim’s.
It also looks like Murray isn’t going to be much fun off the court either after his response to being asked whether he felt rough the day after his big win.
“I don’t enjoy going out. I don’t find it fun. The music is so loud, you can’t hear yourself speak and you wake up with a sore throat. I just don’t enjoy it. I don’t like waking up in the morning feeling rough. I’m more than happy to go home early and play on my computer.”
Although he may be rich and famous, he’s still a boring knob.
Ever met an interesting person who doesn’t drink? No, us neither.

• YOU couldn’t see an inch of floor in Britain last weekend as torn up betting slips covered the entire nation after rookie Grand National jockey Liam Treadwell steered 100-1 shot Mon Mome to a dream Aintree triumph.
The gap toothed simpleton’s 12-length win was the biggest National upset since Foinavon became the last 100-1 winner 42 years ago and then declared: “I might get my teeth done now.”
world_sport_horseWhile we normally love an underdog, the fact Mon Mome (left) cost us a fortune combined with the fact the horse was the first French-bred winner for 100 years means we hope to be sticking things together with the remains of the cheese munching, garlic wearing surrender monkey in the not too distant future.

• IN the stadium where England were dumped out of the last World Cup, David Haye will try and redeem the reputation of his beleaguered nation after signing a three-fight deal with the two Klitschko brothers. Yes, you read that right.
The Hayemaker will kick off the triple header when he faces Wladimir Klitschko on June 20 in Schalke’s Gelschenkirchen Stadium, and the lairy Londoner has revealed the only way he could get either the IBF and WBO champion or his older brother Vitali in the world_sport_david-hayering was to agree to the unusual terms.
“I’ve got to fight three Klitschkos. It’s a joke. I’ve never heard of it in boxing history but if it’s the only way these chumps will get in a ring with me, it’s what I’ve got to do. You should’ve seen what they tried to make me agree to. If you think that’s ridiculous, you would crack up at what they wanted me to sign before.
“It clearly showed me the mentality of the Klitschkos and what wusses they are. They’re not real champions – they try to manufacture things and are not warriors. Maybe they’ve got an uncle who does a bit of boxing and their dad did a bit back in the day! But it’s three Klitschkos in whatever order they choose.”

• JENSON Button splashed his way to victory in a “crazy” Malaysian Grand Prix to maintain his fairytale start to the season.
His second successive win came after the race was cut short on safety grounds, although the top eight were only awarded half-points because three-quarters of the 56-lap race were not completed.

• UNASHAMED American hater Paul Casey was happy to accept £700,000 worth of their cash as he warmed up for the US Masters with his first US tour win on the first play-off hole at the Houston Open.