McClaren Strikes Gold

IN a damning indictment of how low the standard of the Dutch national league has fallen, a team managed by Steve ‘Goldmember’ McClaren have become champions.
McClaren’s side FC Twente won the Eredivisie for the first time since 1926 this week following a 2-0 win over Breda.
“Believe me, for a small town like Enschede this is unbelievable,” said Shhhhteve.
“Last season we finished second and they wrote a book about it called ‘It’s a miracle’.
“This time it’s more than a miracle!
We’ll begrudgingly admit that he’s actually done a good job. That doesn’t change the fact that he was a shit England manager and also one of football’s most boring individuals, somewhere between Jamie Redknapp and David Pleat. So perhaps it’s fitting that he’s now on his way to Europe’s most humourless nation – Germany. Apparently he’s signed a three-year deal with Wolfsberg.