MOST people have a slight soft spot for the Rocky movies.
We don’t know whether it’s its universal themes of self-improvement and belief or the fact that Sylvester Stallone gets battered across the face for an hour and a half in each instalment, but 
they just get to people.
Maybe they’ve got to Floyd Mayweather, who, like a Hollywood villain who keeps coming back no matter how many times you shoot him or hit him with a shovel, has come out of retirement for a third time.
The undefeated five-division world champion has not fought for 17 months but will take on Mexico’s five-time world champion Juan Manuel Márquez in a non-title welterweight bout in Vegas in July.
“I’m going to go down in history as one of the best fighters that ever lived,” the 32-year-old said at a news conference with Márquez in LA on Monday.
“I’m just trying to put extras on my mark in the Hall of Fame. I’m not here to rate myself. I just thank God that he blessed me with the ability that I was blessed with.”
Windies blown away
LET’S not get too carried away with England’s long overdue walloping of the West Indies.
After coming back from the Caribbean with their tails firmly tucked between their pads, England bounced back with a 2-0 hammering of the Windies on home turf.
The final Test ended on Monday in Durham when James Anderson (match figures of 9-125) inspired England to an innings and 83 runs victory courtesy of some exemplary swing bowling.
Now everyone’s talking about England being ‘on fire’ heading into the Ashes series.
This would be fine except for one problem. Australia are the best side in the world whereas the West Indies are utter dog crap.
“The reality is that, when we step out in Cardiff, this win means nothing. It will be back to square one,” said sensible/dull-as-dishwater skipper Andrew Strauss (pictured).
“But the real positive to come out of this series is how clinical we’ve been.
“We’re in a good place. A couple of new players have settled in really well, there is a nice spirit, guys are enjoying each other’s company and we’re a pretty close-knit group.”
Good work Andrew. We’re sure throwing around phrases like ‘nice spirit’ and ‘good place’ will have the ever-reserved Aussies quaking in their boots.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
• “JORGE Valdano and Zinedine Zidane respond to the image that I want to give to the club and bringing them to my team will not be difficult. Arsène Wenger and Jose Mourinho are great managers” – Florentino Pérez, father of the galácticos policy which won Real Madrid nothing during the last four years of his presidency, confirms the fact he’s learnt absolutely nothing.
• “I NEVER even thought about moving level with Liverpool. My first intention was to win one and break the stranglehold Liverpool had on the title. You don’t think about how it would open the door in terms of what we see now. The big challenge was that first one,” – Sir Alex once again talks about knocking Liverpool off their perch. And once again does it without mentioning how Arsenal had already done it.
• “THERE are standards at Rangers Football Club that need to be upheld and I have fallen way below these standards,” – Kyle Lafferty apologises for conning referee Stuart Dougal into thinking he’d been headbutted by Aberdeen’s Charlie Mulgrew, who was consequently red carded.
• “AFTER playing for 17-18 years, I don’t need to prove my commitment. From day one, the club was aware of my schedules. I am extremely disappointed with this attempt to make me the scapegoat. I have been humiliated” – India skipper Bhaichung Bhutia announces his plan to LEAVE I-League side Mohun Bagan after they complained he was spending more time and focus on his participation in Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa, India’s version of Strictly Come Dancing.
• GRAEME Swann has told the Aussies they’re wasting their breath trying to sledge ice-cool England skipper Andrew Strauss.
“The Aussies are past masters at mind games, and there is no surprise they look to unsettle a captain – he’s the fulcrum of the team,” said Swann. “But I can’t see it bothering Straussy one bit, he’s so relaxed it will be water off a duck’s back.”
Damn right Greame, that’s the spirit. We’re going to lose no matter what’s said beforehand so you’re mind games are wasted on us you Aussie twats.
• EXPECT the British and Irish Lions to surrender like meek kittens on their 10-match tour of South Africa when it kicks off this Saturday (May 30th).
The squad are dropping like flies with Ireland hooker Jerry Flannery missing with a chipped elbow bone, Alan Quinlan serving a 12-week ban and winger Leigh Halfpenny out with a thigh injury.
