A MONTH away from starting a long, futile and almost certainly humiliating tour to the backyard of World Champions South Africa, the British and Irish Lions’ 37-man squad was announced this week, but the unveiling was somewhat overshadowed by the comments of a complete and utter Dick. 
Enchanting Sky Sports News presenter Millie Clode decided to request the expert tactical insight of former England coach Dick Best as part of their coverage, sadly he only served to perpetuate the image of an archaic, narrow minded little Englander which rugby union will always struggle to shake off.
Best’s Lions XV was presented on screen before he was asked about his choice of England’s Delon Armitage on the wing ahead of Ireland’s Tommy Bowe.
“You’ve always got to have a coloured boy in the team,” commented Worst.
Millie the minx apologised and Big Dick inevitably came in for heavy criticism from a long list of anti-racism campaigners. Quite right too – your comments weren’t the Best, Dick.
To make matters worse, although Armitage was in Best’s best 15, he wasn’t even in coach Ian McGeechan’s top 37.
Paul O’Connell was named captain as one of 14 Irishmen with Wales contributing 13, England just eight and Scotland a paltry two. Three Six Nations skippers – Steve Borthwick, Ryan Jones and Mike Blair – also missed out, while glamour girls Jonny Wilkinson, Danny Cipriani, Gavin Henson will have plenty of time to spend on their hair and make-up after being left at home.
TRAINING IS T-RICKY FOR FLOORED FLOYD
WITH a history of shootings, family rivalries, drugs, trouble with the law, outlandish behaviour and even a recently discovered son, the Mayweathers make the Sopranos look like the Waltons.
But when the man who modestly refers to himself as “Floyd Joy Mayweather Sr – The Greatest Trainer of All Time,” talks about the fight game you have to shut up and listen.
So when he says that – despite losing just one fight before he took over coaching duties – the man his son called Vicky Fatton was utter shit this time last year, we tend to believe him.
And the reason for this assessment? A punch in the gob.
“When I started working with Hatton, to show you how bad it was, he hit me in the face a couple of times while holding the pads,” said fruitloop Floyd.
“How could you hit me in the face when I’m holding the pads up in your face? He was that non-focused on how you were supposed to throw punches. He was scaring the crap out of me every time. I had to look out for my face or the man was going to hit me in the mouth.”
Watch on Sunday (May 2) to see if Vicky can throw equally damaging punches at pound-for-pound king Manny Pacquiao.
And actually mean them this time.
• GUESS which tennis player won the Monte-Carlo Masters … we’ll give you a few clues – it was his fifth straight title, his 138th win in 142 matches on the surface since 2005, the year he won the first of his four French Open titles. Of his 34 trophy wins, 23 have been on clay. And he is greasy.
Yes of course it was Rafael ‘Bloody’ Nadal. He took the title 6-3, 2-6, 6-1 victory over a battling Novak Djokovic and will win everything on clay again this year and render the next six weeks utterly pointless.
Actually, not completely pointless. Maria Sharapova is making her eagerly awaited comeback in Rome this week.
We can feel things getting much more pointy already.
• THE WORLD snooker championships began this week and security at The Crucible had to be beefed up, not because of unexpectedly large crowds of pensioners and unemployed layabouts, but in case snooker got caught in a bitter marital crossfire.
Former world champion Shaun Murphy played the first session of his match against Andrew Higginson amid fears his estranged wife Clare was going to disrupt play by serving divorce papers.
Worried bosses were forced to put extra bouncers on the doors but luckily the porky potter got underway unmolested.
Bible bashing Murphy is being accused of adultery with an old flame and his wife has threatened to turn up when he least expects it.
He’s going to be made to pay for that double kiss on the pink ball.
• IT WAS a big week for oddly named blokes in golf this week as titles were won by Australian Scott Strange – who claimed a one shot triumph at the China Open – and by American Brian Gay – who won his second PGA Tour title in as many years as he thrashed the field in the Verizon Heritage by 10 shots. Gay bashing has turned into Gay pride after previously enduring a run of 292 tour starts without a win.
• IT SEEMS like the bloke on the advert was right as, at least in Formula One, Red Bull gives you wins.
Delighted pairing Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber completed an unlikely one-two as the F1 season continued to shock onlookers by actually being interesting for once.
Red Bull Racing overcame mechanical problems to secure their maiden victory and the 21-year-old German’s second at the rain-hit Chinese Grand Prix.
Jolly Jensen Button took third to extend his championship lead to six points.
