Baseball may just be a big version of rounders, but it’s pretty big business in the old U.S. of A and professionals will go to Bulgarian shot-putter-esque lengths to improve their performance in any way possible. And some will go even further than that. Just ask Melky Cabrera of the San Francisco Giants.
Cabrera, who earns $6 million a year, tested positive for artificially-elevated testosterone levels earlier this season, and was slapped with a 50-game suspension.
But the needle-loving star wasn’t happy. Just before the ban, he had been enjoying one of the best spells of his career, having made it on to the All Star team for the first time – and even winning the MVP award in that game.
So he hatched a plan, an elaborate scheme that would get him off the hook and back on the beefy-armed path to the Superbowl (or whatever it is in baseball).
With the help of his “associate” Juan Nunez, the 28-year-old bought an existing website for $10,000 and used it to create a fake product that could account for his dodgy testosterone levels.
Cabrera would then claim that he had taken the supplement without realising that it would cause a positive test result – and he could then escape a ban.
Initially, it fooled the players’ union. But, predictably, it wasn’t such a success when the lawyers got involved.
“[They] began asking questions about the website and the ‘product’ – Where was the site operating from? Who owned it? What kind of product was it? – and quickly discovered that an existing website had been altered, adding an ad for the product, a topical cream, that didn’t exist.”
The dickhead is now looking at federal charges as well as the ban. Idiot.
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