Hey, remember that one girlfriend you had? Quite clingy, wanted to spend time with you all the time. She used to let you hang out with your friends but she still wanted a text to know where you are, every five minutes. Annoying right?
Well you’d be wrong. The annoying, clingy, old ball and chain girlfriend breed has evolved from a Charmeleon to a Charizard. The super-powered jealous behemoth is scientifically called Debbie Wood of Leicester and she has a rare condition known as Othello Syndrome that makes her insanely paranoid. Psychiatric disorder or not, if the bitch is crazy, LEAVE!
This beautiful couple, and I mean beautiful, have somehow lasted since 2011 despite the fact she insists that her boyfriend Steve Wood (no marriage, she just took the name because she’s a loon) take a lie-detector test each time he leaves the house. Does she do the smell test too? You know smell for any residual dick cheese?
Miss Wood also checks his email, bank account and his phone in case Steve strays. Breaking Bad season one, Walt buys a second phone for his meth business, problem solved Steve. Word of advice though, not the iPhone 5, that finger detection might cost you your hand. She obviously doesn’t watch TV given the time she spends on Steve. Probably can’t find the remote, probably sitting on the remote.
Speaking of having the remote lodged between your rolls, poor Steve can’t even watch TV in case he falls in love with Anne Robinson. Who the hell falls for Anne Robins….never mind just saw the beautiful couple again.
The condition can cause her to become aggressive but Mr Wood says it’s worth it because they are soul mates. Well until death do you part buddy.
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