We’re all a little bit scared of some things, mysterious noises in the dark, huge spiders, metal scanners at airports. Somalian Pirates? Yep, the real life ones seem pretty menacing. Bet they aren’t scared of anything except a rum shortage.
And one other thing, it would seem. Something you wouldn’t necessarily count as a threat to anything other than your hearing…Britney Spears, and not just when she was bald. Her sweet melodies are being used by supertankers off the coast of Africa in notoriously dangerous waters to deter kidnap attacks from the pirates, and it’s working.
The theory is that the Pirates hate western culture, and Britney epitomises everything it stands for. You know, freedom to cut your hair however and whenever you please, that kinda stuff. We’re not so sure this is the reason, that ‘Hit me baby one more time’ is a pretty severe threat to a man. No one has ever discovered what actually does happen, and these pirates are clearly not keen to find out.
To add insult to injury for poor Britney, the speakers are sent pointing directly out the ship, so as not to annoy the crew members. Her songs have been relegated to being blasted out onto the open, and now deserted waters. Someone really ought to whip out one of her classics and give it a listen. Shotgun not us though. Sorry Britney bitch.
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