Vanishing Foam

There was Tim Cahill’s stunning volley, there was Germany’s seven-goal battering of Brazil, but there can be no doubt the best moment of this year’s World Cup was the referees squirting funny foam at players’ boots before every free-kick.
Not only did the vanishing foam look amusing and piss off defenders, it also had the unexpected bonus of stopping encroaching at set-pieces. Who’d have thunk it?
Well now there’s a campaign to bring cans of silly string to the Premier League, but seeing as there’s no downsides and it helps clarify the game, the FA are naturally wary.
We’re not entirely sure what the hold-up is. Maybe they want to test it on animals first (i.e. Joey Barton), maybe David Beckham wants to add some of his cologne to it for marketing purposes, or maybe the FA are just a bunch of slow old farts who make Frank Lampard look like Usain Bolt.
As a result, it’s not expected to get the green light in time for this season, even though Serie A has already okayed it and La Liga is expected to follow suit.
The Daily Mirror has even started a campaign to get the spray used in England – the first time ever BBM has ever agreed with anything that paper has said.
“It’s a no-brainer that Magic Spray should be rolled out everywhere!” roared the Mirror, inexplicably using capital letters for Magic Spray, as though Gandalf himself has patented it. “It was massively successful and massively popular in Brazil, proving that football can evolve with technology that doesn’t impinge on the enjoyment of the game. The Premier League have already introduced goal-line technology at a hefty price. But surely there must be a few pennies left over to buy some vanishing foam spray cans! It’s a tiny investment with a big reward.”
A tiny investment with a big reward? In other words, it’s the exact opposite of Andy Carroll.