To celebrate the Daniel Sloss Australian tour as part of the nation wide comedy festival, here’s our top five favourite quotes from the Scottish comedian!
1: “I hate Twilight. For those of you who don’t know what it is, let me briefly explain. You’ve got this guy called Edward Cullen who’s a vampire thing and has the emotional capacity of Keanu Reeves after he’s had a stroke. Then you have Bella Swan who is always miserable. It’s like she’s always on her period, which I can imagine he fucking loves.”
2: “I had a girlfriend once and we gave each other little nicknames. I was ‘Dan’, short for ‘Daniel’. She was ‘Luc’, because she was a slag.”
3: Being 19, this means I don’t really have a lot of sex stories. The only ones I have just involve me saying “YES! I HAD SEX! IN YOUR FACE, DAD!”
4: (talking about the amount of snakes on the roads in Australia) “Snakes have no natural immunity to being run over by cars.”
5: (regarding other comedians thinking he’s gay) “I can’t really say I’m not gay, because I’ve never tried penis. I’ve
