The Spider Who Loved Me

 
If Immigration Minister Scott Morrison wants to stop people coming to Australia, there’s a much easier method than torturing asylum seekers for months in gulagstyle conditions on a remote island (i.e. current government policy).
Australia has the sun, the beaches, the economy and a lazy attitude to work that makes it a mecca for boat people. But it also has animals and insects that can kill, maim or decapitate you just by being within a 10m radius. While this may freak out any would-be immigrants from ever setting foot Down Under, it’s made natural-born Aussies uber-tough when it comes to squeamishness.
This point was rammed home again last month when Sydney bloke Dylan Maxwell had a spider burrowing its way into his body for three days before finally having it removed. The freakish creature tunnelled through a small appendix scar and travelled up his torso, leaving an angry red scar from his navel to his chest.

“Just glad it’s all over”, Dylan said, adding it was the worst thing to get under his skin since “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift.