It’s hard to remember a time when “traditional” English striker Kevin Davies wasn’t kicking lumps out of more talented foreigners for Bolton Wanderers.
The 33-year-old goalscorer, who has built a healthy Premier League career out of not scoring goals, is currently in his eighth season at the Reebok Stadium.
And in a Wenger-infuriating move, Davies’s leg-hacking abilities have been rewarded with a new contract which will keep him “oop north” until 2013.
“Let’s hope I stay that long,” said Davies, while scything down Gael Clichy.
“I get a bit of stick from the lads about getting a new contract every year but I love the club and I love the town.”
Davies has consistently proven himself as the Premier League’s best player in his role – having topped the charts in the
“most fouls committed by one player” table for the 2004-05, 2005-06, 2006-07 and 2009-10 seasons.
There was a slight dip in 2003-04 and 2007-08, when he committed the second most number of fouls, but otherwise his near-flawless record speaks for itself.
The only prize still to elude him in his field is the fractured leg of a young Arsenal player. There’s still time Kev.
With the news that Kevin Davies has been given an extended contract at Bolton, we decided to look at the six dirtiest bastards currently topping the Premier League’s most fouls committed table…
1# Kevin Davies – 24 fouls committed this season and counting.
2# Andy Carroll (17 fouls): He plays up front, broke a teammmate’s jaw in training last season, has three yellow cards already this year and he’s still only 21. Have we found Davies’s natural successor? A decent goalscoring record suggests not.
3# Fabrice Muamba (15 fouls): Davies’ partner in crime at Bolton. If Davies is The Emporer from Star Wars, then Muamba is Anakin Skywalker, having trained as a proper ‘Jedi’ footballer at Arsenal before succumbing to the dark side.
4# Marouane Fellaini (14 fouls): Don’t be fooled by the poodle haircut, this guy’s a rottweiler. Has filled in ably as Everton’s chief enforcer while Tim Cahill’s been troubled with knee knack.
5# Stiliyan Petrov (14 fouls): We’re a bit confused by this one. The Villa captain isn’t generally known as a dirty git – although it’s possible he’s still angry at being deprived of Martin O’Neill’s cock to suck after controversially following him from Celtic like a faithful dog.
6# Paul Scholes (14 fouls): One of the best player’s in Premier League history. Scores brilliant goals, never gives the ball away, can open the tightest of defence’s with an exquisite throughball – can’t tackle for shit. Maybe it’s the hair.