A series of jokes that are sure to make you laugh out loud. Â Have a read of these to brighten up your day.
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm and says ‘Look darling, this is the pig I’ve been fucking.’
His wife replies ‘Honey that’s a duck, not a pig’
‘I wasn’t talking to you’
Paulie: Jersey, NSW
I went to my first fight club meeting last night, I showed up late so I missed the first few rules but it was awesome I love fight club cant wait for the next meeting.
Sil: Melbourne
I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises…
The librarian said, “I don’t think it’s in yet.”
I said, “Yes, that’s the one.”
Christopher: Sydney
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex…
Would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Carmela: Melbourne
Who’s seen the movie “Up”?
The moral is that you can’t have a real adventure until your wife dies.
Carmine: Alice Springs
People used to believe in multiple Gods.
Now they believe in one God.
They’re getting closer to the actual number all the time.
Bobby: Perth
My Chinese mate got me an iPad for Christmas this year. I couldn’t believe it!
The most thoughtful gifts really are the ones you make yourself.
Vito: Cairns
If Donald trump takes over the presidency after Obama I guess you could say orange really is the new black.
Meadow: Adelaide
Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?
Because for them, it is a Wurst-Käse scenario.
Artie: Darwin
My wife has an odd way of starting conversations.
She always begin by saying ‘Hey, are you even listening?’
Jackie: Perth
