THERE’S no way around it, Scottish football is crap. Only the most one-eyed, be-kilted, flame-haired, Tartan-scarved, shortbread munching Scotch football fan would dare to bagpipe otherwise.
But for the first time since the late eighties, the Scottish Premier League registered something officially classed as “entertaining” last week when the usually overhyped Old Firm rivalry transcended from dirty ‘stramash’ to full-blown ‘rammy’.
For those of you who were unable to find the Parental Guidance needed to watch the match, three Rangers players were sent off, Celtic boss Neil Lennon (pictured) and Gers coach-in-waiting Ally McCoist had a bit of tunnel-fisting action (not the Mardi Gras sort either) and after the game no less than 34 fans were arrested inside the ground.
While most of us actually enjoyed this rather excitable clash, it caused much rustling of grey-haired eyebrows in the Scotch parliament and the two clubs have now been forced to cooperate with each other in a fake smiles and handshake manner to make it look like there isn’t a problem.
“There has been an extraordinary amount of debate since last Wednesday’s match, much of it ill-informed,” said Rangers chief executive Martin Bain, at a press conference with Celtic counterpart Peter Lawwell.
The clubs issued a joint plan to tackle bad behaviour surrounding the fixture and police will look at addressing “public order” issues on web forums.
“While many of the issues surrounding the Celtic v Rangers fixture have been blamed on the clubs, clearly there are a number of societal issues which need to be addressed. How much more can the clubs do?” added Lawwell, seconds before smashing a can of Irn-Bru in Lawwell’s face.