A nutjob neuroscientist reckons he’s proved that smoking and drinking during pregnancy can turn your baby gay and stupid.
So if Lindsay Lohan ever gets up the duff, she’ll give birth to the next Perez Hilton. Oh the irony.
Dr Dick Swaab (stop sniggering, it’s his real name) – professor of neurobiology at Amsterdam University (Amsterdam? That explains it) – claims that drinking, taking drugs or living in an area with high pollution levels have an impact on the development of foetuses, sexuality and IQ.
“Pre-birth exposure to both nicotine and amphetamines increases the chance of lesbian daughters,” said Dr Dicky. “Pregnant women suffering from stress are also more likely to have homosexual children of both genders because their raised level of the stress hormone cortisol affects the production of foetal sex hormones.” It’ll certainly make you think twice the next time you hear a pregnant lesbian say she’s having a fag.
And Swaab doesn’t stop there. Apparently, the more older brothers a boy has, the more it is thought to increase his chance of being gay. The study claims this could be because the mother’s immune system develops stronger responses to male hormones with each son that is born. We’ve just checked and Tom Cruise doesn’t have any brothers, so the jury’s still out on that one.
“Although it’s frequently assumed that development after birth also importantly affects our sexual orientation, there’s no proof of this whatsoever,” Dicky writes in his book, ‘We Are Our Brains’.
“Children brought up by lesbians aren’t more likely to be homosexual. Nor is there any evidence at all for the misconception that homosexuality is a ‘lifestyle choice’.”
If nothing else, Dicky’s findings are sure to stir up some controversy. We can’t wait for his next book: “Obama’s America: How taking heroin makes you more left wing”.
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