200px-Portsmouth_FC_crest_2008IF THE global financial crisis has taught normal workaday folk anything, it’s that the so-called financial genius five percent of the population who own 90 percent of the wealth are, in fact, the dumbest inbred bastards on the planet.
And yet more proof of this has emerged from Portsmouth this week, when latest account figures revealed that when they said they were up the shitter financially with £80million debts, they were, actually, slightly off the mark. About £40million off the mark to be exact. Their total debt is around the £119million mark.
Roughly £38m is owed to previous owners, such as Sacha Gaydamak and Sulaiman Al-Fahim, but the best bits are the smaller debts.
For example, they’ve had to pay £1million to Spurs for keeper Asmir Begovic – even though Spurs never had him. It’s something to do with a double deal for Younes Kaboul that Begovic welched on by joining Stoke instead.
There are also a multitude of other small debts which are far more interesting. For example, they owe former England midfielder Neil Webb £150, 20p to Qatar Airways, £40 to Pukka Pies, £697 to Guernsey Scout Association, £230 to Bognor Regis FC, £60 to Chichester College and, best of all, 1p to Proton Southern Ltd (don’t ask us).
“The mismanagement that has taken place at this club over the past few years has been staggering,” said the man trying to make sense of it all, Andrew Andronikou, quite needlessly.