If you’ve been in Australia for any length of time, you’ll have heard of the phrase “poking the bear”.
When someone first mentioned it to us, we thought they were taking the piss out of the hairy Dutch girl we’d pulled the previous night. But although Helga’s armpits were admittedly in a shocking state, “poking the bear” is actually a reference to doing something mildly annoying that could lead to a frenzied mauling at the hands of a vicious animal. In Ireland they have a similar phrase with exactly the same meaning – “talking to Roy Keane”.
Mild-mannered Roy isn’t exactly known for his cool, calm demeanour in the face of provocation. Just ask Alf-Inge “Hop-a-long” Haaland. In fact Keane is so easy to anger, merely whispering the word “Ferguson” within a mile radius of the former Man United man makes his muscles bulge and his skin turn the colour of his old Ireland shirt. He then bounds away in the general direction of Glasgow in his shredded clothes yelling “Keane smash puny Scotsman!” Sadly, the only thing Keane has smashed lately is his legacy as a Man United legend.
So maybe that’s why a brave autograph hunter risked the wrath of Roy recently by asking him to sign a copy of his latest autobiography at the Portmarnock Hotel in north Dublin. Minutes later the pair were embroiled in a heated bust-up as Roy saw red and refused the request.
“One guy was reading Roy’s book and wanted him to sign it. I think Roy told him no and then there were words exchanged,” a witness told the Irish Daily Mirror. “It all just kicked off from there. There was lots of roaring and shouting after. An ambulance was called and your man was taken away. The players were coming in and out of the bar before and then they were called in to a private room. Everybody in the bar is talking about it. You don’t see something like that every day.”
Not unless your name is Mrs Keane or Martin O’Neill, of course.

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