The heartbreak of finding out the woman you love is sleeping with someone you know is a pain BBM is all too familiar with. For five weeks we watched from a hole in Cheryl Cole’s attic as she went to bed each night with Ashley Cole. The misery only ended when the smell of our excrement gave away BBM’s hiding place, and the police soon intervened.
But how do you get back at a cheating ex? Some find peace in writing an emotional letter, others slag them off on Facebook, while Taylor Swift decided to make a career out of it. But even Swift’s ex-bashing odes pale into insignificance compared to the reaction of Detroit man Alan Markovitz, after finding out his wife, Lea Tuohy, had been having an affair with a friend of his for two years.
Markovitz, who owns the house next door to his ex, reportedly spent $7000 on a 12-foot giant middlefinger bronze garden sculpture pointing at Tuohy’s windows. As a coup de grace, the ‘ornament’ is illuminated by a spotlight at night. Lenka Tuohy, believed to be the daughter of Markovitz’s ex-wife, tweeted a picture of the statue. “How psychotic do you have to be to buy the house directly next to your ex-wife and then put a statue up like that? Real classy Alan,” she wrote. “[I]t’s hard for me to enjoy my baths now because my fave tub is in my mom’s bathroom which faces out towards it.” Markovitz, who owns a strip club, claims it is a ‘coincidence’ he ended up in a house next door to his ex-wife, who is believed to have moved into the property when they divorced.
“I’m so over her,” said Markovitz, fooling no one. “This is about him. This is about him not being a man. He broke the Man Code. He’s a total freakin’ arsehole. Real men don’t do that to another guy.”
You listening to this Ashley? Now be a man and remove the restraining order.
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