Man City Win the League, Man United Don't :DIn the words of General Melchett: “Well bugger me with a fish fork!”

Not a Blackadder fan? Ok, let’s just get on with the football and the race for the Premiership title – which was absolutely batshit insane.

The events of this weekend may have actually lived up to the ridiculous hype Sky Sports constantly spews about the English game. We’re sure every commentator and pundit was nursing at least a semi as league positions regularly swapped throughout the afternoon.

The game of the weekend had to be Man City v QPR, with Man City’s title hopes relying on their ability to despatch one of the crappest teams in the world.

Boy did they make a meal of it. It seemed the league was done and dusted when Pablo Zabaleta’s shot squirmed past Paddy Kenny; but that would’ve been too easy and boring. The madness started with a QPR equaliser from Djibril Cisse early in the second half, which was quickly followed by a show stopping performance from the Huyton nutcase himself, Joey Barton, as he was red carded for elbowing Tevez, and then kneeing Sergio Aguero in the back to spark a melee. (And his PR team had done such good work hiding his psychotic side. Back to the drawing board, guys.)

Man Utd were comfortably ahead against Sunderland during the chaos, and the title looked to be on its way to Old Trafford when Jamie Mackie put QPR ahead. But then the incredible happened. Into injury time, substitute Edin Dzeko put City level to give them a faint hope of being able to grab a winner. Nobody believed they would (least of all the City fans who left early), but with a minute left Sergio Aguero lashed it home to secure City’s first title in 44 years – not just City’s first title in 44 years, but the first title any club from Manchester has won in 44 years.

Of course, the highlight of the day was the look on the faces of dear old Fergie and his players when they realised Man City had snatched it at the death, just as they thought the title was theirs. Aaaaah, the memories.

It was a great day for Man City, and the final word has to go to Irish journo Dion Fanning, who said: “Those City fans who left early will always have the memories of how they beat traffic.”

By Peter Simpson