howay with the fairiesHoway with the fairies

CHRIS Hughton (pictured). Good riddance to bad rubbish we say.

For years Newcastle have been the comedy club of the Premier League with the punchline being relegation to the Championship in 2009. Oh how we missed their hilarious on-field bust-ups and dire defending last season.

So imagine our delight when they were promoted for 2010-11, with chairman Mike Ashley determined to wrest the crown of the Premier League’s biggest joke from Liverpool’s clownish clutches.

Yet despite Ashley’s clear mandate to make Newcastle the biggest giggle-fest since Russ Abbott’s Laughter Hour, Hughton has failed to deliver.

Instead he’s turned the club around, earned the trust of a dressing room full of unpredictable dilettante wideboys, won the Championship, re-established the club in the Premier League, become popular with a notoriously fickle set of fans, smashed the local rivals 5-0 and generally been a decent, hard-working and civilised human being, for an annual wage of seven shillings per annum.

Frankly, we’re surprised he lasted so long. Yes the man who puts the cock in Cockney Mafia has given Hughton the boot saying the player’s had too much control or some such shit.

Apparently they’ll unveil a new boss over the weekend, which is no good to BBM as we come out on a Saturday, which is Friday night in London.

Thought to be leading the candidates list are Martin Jol and Alan Pardew. That would be the Alan Pardew who hasn’t managed in the Premier League since getting Charlton relegated in 2007 but is good friends with several Cockney backroom staff members at St James’ Park. Interesting.

Whoever they choose as a replacement, though, will never be as good as Toon messiah Kevin Keegan… which gives us a great thinly-veiled excuse to print our favourite quotes from King Kev.


1) “The Germans only have one player under 22 and he’s 23.”

2) “In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.”

3) “They’re the second best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that.”

4) “Chile have three options – they could win or they could lose.”

5) “I came to Nantes two years ago and it’s much the same today… except that it’s totally different.”