john-howard-bowlingCRICKET: As England ran to an unassailable 3-1 lead against Australia in the one day series back home, ex Aussie PM John Howard was kindly told by the International Cricket Council committee that he had bobbins chance of being cricket’s next head honcho.

Howard, 70, and who is a mumbling twat, was Cricket Australia and Cricket New Zealand’s nomination for the next vice-president of the ICC. But with only Australia, NZ and England supporting him, Howard was unable to secure the needed support of at least seven of the 10 Test-playing nations.

Cricket Australia chairman Jack Clarke, who, like Howard, is old, said it was a kick in the teeth for Australia and NZ.

“We’re pretty gutted, I’ve got to say – incredibly disappointed that a man of John Howard’s stature has been knocked off for this job,” said Clarke while sucking on a Worthers Original.

Rumour has it that countries like India blocked Howard’s ascension because of the ex PM’s stance against Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe and his insistence that Sri Lankan spin bowler Muttiah Muralitharan had a girly bowling action

Personally, BBM thinks it’s because of what we already stated: he’s a twat.