Brace yourselves, you might want to sit down for this next bit of news. Actually, you might want to squat instead because it turns out we’ve all been shitting incorrectly for years.
According to Giulia Enders, a German (obviously) microbiologist, people in Western countries are emptying their bowels in totally the wrong way – and instead of sitting on the loo, we should be squatting.
Her book, Charming Bowels, which has topped the charts in her native country for several weeks (what is it with Germans and their scheisse obsession?), explores a number of gut health issues, from constipation to bacteria. Sounds like a real page-turder. “1.2 billion people around the world who squat have almost no incidence of diverticulitis and fewer problems with piles,” she says. “We in the West, on the other hand, squeeze our gut tissue until it comes out of our bottoms.”
So apparently the right way to go is to squat. No wonder Paula Radcliffe is so fit and healthy. “This is because the closure mechanism of the gut is not designed to ‘open the hatch completely’ when we’re sitting down or standing up: it’s like a kinked hose,” added Enders while curling one out. “Although you can climb on your toilet seat and squat, the kink can also be… hnnnnyuuhhhhhhhh… [plop plop] ahhhhhhhhhhh… ironed out by sitting with your feet on a little stool and leaning forward.”
Funny News Flushing Out The Truth
